Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just found a bag of teeth...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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