Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
