I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
