just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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