I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it glows. i had to have it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
