sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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