Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
