Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
