Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
