ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
