Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
