fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
dude. I can hear the air.
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