Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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