he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
