I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
