two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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