i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
a search helicopter?!
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
