You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
nutella sex= disaster
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
