bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
