I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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