you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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