this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
