I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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