I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My vagina is officially offended.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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