32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
