Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
