that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
