Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
