how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
A+ Viking dick
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
