Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
