why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
