There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
