Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
