i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
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