i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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