Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
