everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
