matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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