I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
