They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
