that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
