yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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