Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
