dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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