Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
