I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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