I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
