An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
