And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
