I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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